Joys of Journals

 Journals themselves have specific smells, whether it’s the rustic smell of an old book, the warm or cool smell of leather (depending on which kind of leather), or the smell of residual ink left on the pages.  It’s so comforting that it puts me in a really good place to start writing. FROM: "Why I … Continue reading Joys of Journals

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Poem // Saving Myself

© 2018 Avid Journaler Rigidly she stands, arms held stiffly by her sides. Ragged breaths breathed fast heaves her chest up and down in rapid succession— the only movement in her body save for the frantic darting of her unfocused eyes. Attention rapt on a battle raging inside, she neither hears nor sees me. Suddenly … Continue reading Poem // Saving Myself

I Didn’t Want to Write this Post…

I could have written part of this post a week and a half ago, on August 5th, when the suicidal thoughts and urges came back. I hoped it was a one-day thing. That it would go away. And I was really shaken up about it so I decided to wait. Writing about it would make … Continue reading I Didn’t Want to Write this Post…

I’m Conflicted

So. It's been three weeks since my last post and it was almost longer. I have had some things that I can write about but, for the first time since starting this blog, I'm hesitant. I've always been really open about my struggles with mental illness: diagnoses, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, etc. I'm not ashamed of … Continue reading I’m Conflicted

When Work and Life (Might) Collide

So, despite me being very open about my struggles with mental illness on my blog (which links to my Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook accounts usually), I haven't told anyone at work (including my bosses) about anything regarding my mental illness. As far as they know, it's not something that I struggle with. I like it … Continue reading When Work and Life (Might) Collide

I Want Another Tattoo

So, I already have one tattoo. I got it several (probably about 4-5) years ago on my right thigh to cover up some really light self-harm scars that I had. It's a feather and in the design are the words "Strength Lies Within." I love the tattoo. I decided I was going to get a … Continue reading I Want Another Tattoo

Poem // Buried Deep

Buried Deep I couldn't face you so I smiled instead. I created a cage to hold you: darkened steel, dinged and battered from your furious assault and efforts to crawl up, out of my body to see the light of day— escape. Feral snarls and growls echoed from your many mouths, your innumerable faces screwed … Continue reading Poem // Buried Deep

More Work Stress

For those of you following my blog posts lately, you'll remember that I've been struggling with work and that last week I asked for reduced hours and/or someone working with me during longer shifts. Last week's schedule was great -- exactly what I had asked for. And then I got this week's schedule: Mon: 5:30am-1pm … Continue reading More Work Stress