Joys of Journals

 Journals themselves have specific smells, whether it’s the rustic smell of an old book, the warm or cool smell of leather (depending on which kind of leather), or the smell of residual ink left on the pages.  It’s so comforting that it puts me in a really good place to start writing. FROM: "Why I … Continue reading Joys of Journals

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Sometimes I Just Want to Hide

I slept 15 hours last night. That's a lot and way too much but I woke up after sleeping 12 hours and it was only 10am and there was no way I wanted to be up early on a weekend after working all week. So I went back to sleep. That has absolutely nothing to … Continue reading Sometimes I Just Want to Hide

Update: Health, New Job, and Dating

I feel like so many things have been happening lately - changing. I guess it's really not that much, but I've been having some health issues. I've been put on a "low carb diet" by my doctor because at my annual wellness exam my triglycerides were high. So basically I've been trying to cut out pastas, breads, … Continue reading Update: Health, New Job, and Dating

Poem // Stoicism Isn’t for the Faint-Hearted

A woman stands on stage. Lights from behind allow a glimpse of her stunning silhouette. She stands still as marble. Cold and smooth, chiseled by a master sculptor, her figure captivates the audience. All is silent as soft lights illuminate her flawless features. Dazzling blue eyes stare impassively ahead. Her delicate fingers intertwine, deceptively peaceful … Continue reading Poem // Stoicism Isn’t for the Faint-Hearted

Hospitalization… the Right Choice for Me

So, for those who read my last two posts, it's clear that I have been struggling. Starting on August 5th, so almost a month ago, I began having urges to take all my medication in an attempt to overdose. I wouldn't say I was suicidal, per se, because I didn't really want to die. I … Continue reading Hospitalization… the Right Choice for Me

Poem // Saving Myself

© 2018 Avid Journaler Rigidly she stands, arms held stiffly by her sides. Ragged breaths breathed fast heaves her chest up and down in rapid succession— the only movement in her body save for the frantic darting of her unfocused eyes. Attention rapt on a battle raging inside, she neither hears nor sees me. Suddenly … Continue reading Poem // Saving Myself

I Didn’t Want to Write this Post…

I could have written part of this post a week and a half ago, on August 5th, when the suicidal thoughts and urges came back. I hoped it was a one-day thing. That it would go away. And I was really shaken up about it so I decided to wait. Writing about it would make … Continue reading I Didn’t Want to Write this Post…

I’m Conflicted

So. It's been three weeks since my last post and it was almost longer. I have had some things that I can write about but, for the first time since starting this blog, I'm hesitant. I've always been really open about my struggles with mental illness: diagnoses, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, etc. I'm not ashamed of … Continue reading I’m Conflicted