Mental illness isn't always predictable (or is it ever, really?) and sometimes it seems to make no sense at all. I live rent-free with family, I have loving family and friends, I have a new job (part-time) that I actually enjoy, working with people I actually like, and I have stable, consistent work hours. So, … Continue reading So… Hospital Again
I feel so lost. I don't understand so many things. Like, for instance, why does the thought of going to work tomorrow make me want to grab my pill bottle and take everything? Do I want to die? I don't think so. Yet those urges are strong. I can visualize myself taking the medication, then … Continue reading Trigger Warning: Do I Want to Die?
Sometimes my family members tell me I need to give up on a friendship and move on. Like one friendship I had in college, we'll call her Sylvia, that was super important to me. I talked with Sylvia about practically everything, especially relating to my mental illness and the struggles I was having with self-harm … Continue reading Why I Can’t Give Up On Friends
Everyone has insecurities. I think that's just a part of life. Today one of my insecurities came out. My sister and her girlfriend invited about 5 people over to have cider and watch Hocus Pocus. Most everyone said no because they were sick or busy and, even though I'd already said I was coming, I … Continue reading Fighting Through Insecurities
I slept 15 hours last night. That's a lot and way too much but I woke up after sleeping 12 hours and it was only 10am and there was no way I wanted to be up early on a weekend after working all week. So I went back to sleep. That has absolutely nothing to … Continue reading Sometimes I Just Want to Hide
I feel like so many things have been happening lately - changing. I guess it's really not that much, but I've been having some health issues. I've been put on a "low carb diet" by my doctor because at my annual wellness exam my triglycerides were high. So basically I've been trying to cut out pastas, breads, … Continue reading Update: Health, New Job, and Dating
So. It's been three weeks since my last post and it was almost longer. I have had some things that I can write about but, for the first time since starting this blog, I'm hesitant. I've always been really open about my struggles with mental illness: diagnoses, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, etc. I'm not ashamed of … Continue reading I’m Conflicted