I Didn’t Want to Write this Post…

I could have written part of this post a week and a half ago, on August 5th, when the suicidal thoughts and urges came back. I hoped it was a one-day thing. That it would go away. And I was really shaken up about it so I decided to wait. Writing about it would make … Continue reading I Didn’t Want to Write this Post…

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I’m Conflicted

So. It's been three weeks since my last post and it was almost longer. I have had some things that I can write about but, for the first time since starting this blog, I'm hesitant. I've always been really open about my struggles with mental illness: diagnoses, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, etc. I'm not ashamed of … Continue reading I’m Conflicted

When Work and Life (Might) Collide

So, despite me being very open about my struggles with mental illness on my blog (which links to my Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook accounts usually), I haven't told anyone at work (including my bosses) about anything regarding my mental illness. As far as they know, it's not something that I struggle with. I like it … Continue reading When Work and Life (Might) Collide

Poem // Buried Deep

Buried Deep I couldn't face you so I smiled instead. I created a cage to hold you: darkened steel, dinged and battered from your furious assault and efforts to crawl up, out of my body to see the light of day— escape. Feral snarls and growls echoed from your many mouths, your innumerable faces screwed … Continue reading Poem // Buried Deep

Nights Are Hard

Sometimes I can have perfectly fine days, days that I would classify as "good", and then all of a sudden night happens. Something about evenings, I don't know what it is, has a way of making my depression, sadness, loneliness, or whatever else I may be experiencing worse. Today was... adequate I guess. The highlight … Continue reading Nights Are Hard

Comments That Undercut the Seriousness of Mental Illness

I wish I could say this post was about me standing up to stigma in mental illness but it's not. (I don't even think stigma is the right word to use here. It's more like standing up to comments that undercut the seriousness of mental illness.) It's better. This is a gratitude post because my … Continue reading Comments That Undercut the Seriousness of Mental Illness

Calling a Crisis Line

Reaching out for help can be hard and, at times, terrifying. Today I didn't realize I was in a crisis until around 9:30pm, half an hour after my therapist's calling hours ended. I was having serious self-harm urges. I wanted to cut. Badly. I was struggling, making plans to self harm, and felt like I was … Continue reading Calling a Crisis Line