Trigger Warning: Do I Want to Die?

I feel so lost.  I don't understand so many things. Like, for instance, why does the thought of going to work tomorrow make me want to grab my pill bottle and take everything?  Do I want to die?  I don't think so. Yet those urges are strong. I can visualize myself taking the medication, then … Continue reading Trigger Warning: Do I Want to Die?

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Why I Can’t Give Up On Friends

Sometimes my family members tell me I need to give up on a friendship and move on. Like one friendship I had in college, we'll call her Sylvia, that was super important to me. I talked with Sylvia about practically everything, especially relating to my mental illness and the struggles I was having with self-harm … Continue reading Why I Can’t Give Up On Friends

Am I THAT Person?

Am I? Am I someone who doesn't want to work hard for what I want out of life? Am I just looking for a way to give up? I don't want to be that person. I want to want to work hard for what I want out of life. I want to recognize that the … Continue reading Am I THAT Person?

Fighting Through Insecurities

Everyone has insecurities. I think that's just a part of life. Today one of my insecurities came out. My sister and her girlfriend invited about 5 people over to have cider and watch Hocus Pocus. Most everyone said no because they were sick or busy and, even though I'd already said I was coming, I … Continue reading Fighting Through Insecurities

Sometimes I Just Want to Hide

I slept 15 hours last night. That's a lot and way too much but I woke up after sleeping 12 hours and it was only 10am and there was no way I wanted to be up early on a weekend after working all week. So I went back to sleep. That has absolutely nothing to … Continue reading Sometimes I Just Want to Hide

Update: Health, New Job, and Dating

I feel like so many things have been happening lately - changing. I guess it's really not that much, but I've been having some health issues. I've been put on a "low carb diet" by my doctor because at my annual wellness exam my triglycerides were high. So basically I've been trying to cut out pastas, breads, … Continue reading Update: Health, New Job, and Dating

Hospitalization… the Right Choice for Me

So, for those who read my last two posts, it's clear that I have been struggling. Starting on August 5th, so almost a month ago, I began having urges to take all my medication in an attempt to overdose. I wouldn't say I was suicidal, per se, because I didn't really want to die. I … Continue reading Hospitalization… the Right Choice for Me