Poem // Buried Deep

Buried Deep I couldn't face you so I smiled instead. I created a cage to hold you: darkened steel, dinged and battered from your furious assault and efforts to crawl up, out of my body to see the light of day— escape. Feral snarls and growls echoed from your many mouths, your innumerable faces screwed … Continue reading Poem // Buried Deep

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Pros and Cons

Monday was a rough day for me. I had spent the entire previous week working on Turning the Mind (DBT skill) toward acceptance in regards to going to work. When my emotions would get really strong (in the negative direction), I would take a deep breath and remind myself, "I am choosing to go to … Continue reading Pros and Cons

Three Years!

Today, March 28th, 2018, marks three years since I've stopped cutting. Last year I celebrated on March 27th, but then I realized that March 27th, 2015 was the last day that I actually cut. So, I wanted to celebrate the three year mark of when I stopped. So, March 28th. It has been such a struggle … Continue reading Three Years!

Dealing with Anger

So, this past Wednesday I got pissed. Super angry. And who did I get angry at? My psychiatrist. I went to my scheduled appointment and told my doctor that I haven't been feeling well basically since the beginning of the new year. My mood has been really up and down to the point where I've … Continue reading Dealing with Anger

Extra Therapy and Contributing

I've come to realize that I need to do things for me. And sometimes, when I'm not feeling great and depression feels like it's closing in, that means setting up and extra therapy appointment. I always get a little hesitant about setting up an additional appointment with my therapist because I worry about what she'll … Continue reading Extra Therapy and Contributing

This Time Last Year

I just came across my post from this time last year. Ringing in the New Year last year was not super joyful. I was depressed, defeated, struggling with my job, and crying a lot of the time. I am so happy to say that this New Year has started out in such a great way. … Continue reading This Time Last Year

Sudden Mood Shifts

So, today was great. The last few days have been great. I've been being and feeling really productive at life-type things like babysitting, working towards getting a job, cleaning, helping my sister build an entertainment system, helping my nephew rake leaves. It's been so good. Last night, talking to one of my friends on the phone, I … Continue reading Sudden Mood Shifts