Sudden Mood Shifts

So, today was great. The last few days have been great. I've been being and feeling really productive at life-type things like babysitting, working towards getting a job, cleaning, helping my sister build an entertainment system, helping my nephew rake leaves. It's been so good. Last night, talking to one of my friends on the phone, I … Continue reading Sudden Mood Shifts

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From Near Crisis to Wise Mind

About a week and a half ago I was having a rough night. I was having some moderately high self-harm urges. If I had to rank them, I'd probably say they were at a 70/100. So, I tried a new skill: I decided to try drawing on my skin instead of cutting. I drew out … Continue reading From Near Crisis to Wise Mind

Sometimes a Cold Shower is the Way to Go

Just in case you're wondering, no this post isn't about anything sexual. 😉 Now, onto the serious. Last night was a really rough night for me. My self-harm urges were at an intensely high level. They were so high that I actually went in search of something that I could use to cut with. Thankfully, … Continue reading Sometimes a Cold Shower is the Way to Go

The Importance of a Schedule… And the Difficulty

My last post was over two weeks ago and things were rough. I had called a crisis line because I was struggling with self-harm urges and thankfully I made it through without acting on them. Since then I've had "good" and "bad" days. On the good I was having such a great time. Going out … Continue reading The Importance of a Schedule… And the Difficulty

When Anxiety Sets In

Anxiety is not something I am used to experiencing. I had it pretty bad when my depression first started back in my Sophomore year of college in late 2011 and early 2012. My anxiety sometimes presents as this tension in my gut, like a knot, and I want to punch walls and scream and burst … Continue reading When Anxiety Sets In

Three Weeks Later

It's been nearly three weeks since my last post. I don't really know what happened. I've been struggling. In the last two weeks I've had three therapy appointments which, considering I'm supposed to have one every two weeks, tells you a lot probably. I've been feeling helpless, hopeless, and financially strained. Even though I'm actually … Continue reading Three Weeks Later

When “I don’t care” Turns Into “I’m really sad”

When I woke up it wasn't a good day. I was exhausted.  I had slept for 12 hours and I didn't want to get out of bed. I did though. I got out of bed. I took my meds. I ate a banana. I tried watching a recorded television show from last night and I … Continue reading When “I don’t care” Turns Into “I’m really sad”