Three Years!

Today, March 28th, 2018, marks three years since I've stopped cutting. Last year I celebrated on March 27th, but then I realized that March 27th, 2015 was the last day that I actually cut. So, I wanted to celebrate the three year mark of when I stopped. So, March 28th. It has been such a struggle … Continue reading Three Years!

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Calling a Crisis Line

Reaching out for help can be hard and, at times, terrifying. Today I didn't realize I was in a crisis until around 9:30pm, half an hour after my therapist's calling hours ended. I was having serious self-harm urges. I wanted to cut. Badly. I was struggling, making plans to self harm, and felt like I was … Continue reading Calling a Crisis Line

I Will Not Self Harm 

A few nights ago, Sunday to be exact, I felt that I was in a bit of an emotional crisis. My mood had rapidly deteriorated over the course of the day and I was having very intense urges (not just thoughts) to self harm. I wasn't originally going to write a post about this since … Continue reading I Will Not Self Harm 

Damn You, 513

513. The number seems innocuous enough, yet to me the weight bears down. My back feels nearly bowed from the effort of holding that figure high, trying to keep it untarnished, keep it from sinking below the water level, to drag me down with it, to begin drowning once more. Today was a struggle. Yet … Continue reading Damn You, 513

I Don’t Know How I Did It

Anyone who read my last post (6 days ago) knows that this past week has been a struggle!  I have been struggling hard-core with self harm urges.  My main goal 6 days ago was to make it through the day without cutting, but what I really wanted was to make it at least until my … Continue reading I Don’t Know How I Did It