It’s been nearly three weeks since my last post. I don’t really know what happened. I’ve been struggling. In the last two weeks I’ve had three therapy appointments which, considering I’m supposed to have one every two weeks, tells you a lot probably. I’ve been feeling helpless, hopeless, and financially strained. Even though I’m actually having a bit of money come in from tutoring my nephew and transcribing on a freelance website it’s hard to appreciate the progress. I’m not where I need to be, financially speaking. I’m not covering what I need to be covering. So even though I’ve taken some steps forward, it is so hard to recognize it.
I wanted to quit tutoring my nephew. Not because of him or because of anyone else, really. I was just in so much agony. Agony filled my waking hours simply for the fact that I was awake. Plus I was sick for two and a half weeks with bronchitis which made me so vulnerable to my emotions. I couldn’t even nap as much as I wanted because my new meds are helping me get more restful sleep at night. I didn’t even realize how much I sleep to escape life until I found it difficult to do so.
I stuck it out though. I didn’t quit tutoring my nephew. Our next session is in 3 minutes, in fact. I didn’t quit transcribing. And I asked for help with my extra therapy appointments. Even though they cost money, they helped me immensely. Sometimes recognizing you need help, and asking for it, is the most important thing you can do.
And then you know what happened? I had an amazing day yesterday. Brunch, therapy, driving myself around… it was great.
So now, off to tutoring and continuing to step forward.