Things have been rough lately. I just had a therapy appointment this past Tuesday (a.k.a 3 days ago) and I usually see my therapist every 2 weeks. I felt hesitant leaving our last session and today set up an appointment with her for this coming Sunday. I had actually placed a call to my therapist yesterday but, due to a string of unfortunate events, didn’t hear back until today.
At any rate, I have been having a lot of strong emotions lately, namely sadness, anger, and hopelessness. I slept 12 hours last night, didn’t have an appetite at all, and felt restless. I just wanted to escape and work of some tension. So I decided to go for a walk. It was pretty chilly out, maybe 50 degrees Fahrenheit, so I threw on a sweater, made sure I had my phone, headphones, key, sunglasses, and some cash, and I headed out. I pretty much never exercise or go for walks but I just felt the need to go somewhere. I originally thought about walking to my mom’s house, just under 2 miles away, but no one would have been home and I just wasn’t feeling it. I realized what I really wanted was a hug from my dad, so I set off towards his work. I had never walked there before, and after checking my GPS I realized it was 2.8 miles away. I didn’t care. I needed to walk, needed to get away, needed a hug, and so I just went. I had Demi Lovato blasting in my left ear and I walked quickly, trying to dispel as much pent up energy, anger, and sadness as possible.
I recognized the beauty of the leaves but kept charging along. By the time I reached my dad’s office I felt a lot calmer. Luckily, he wasn’t super busy, and I sat on the floor of his cubicle (after getting a hug) with a brownie and some water. We chatted a bit and it was so helpful. I hung out with him for an hour as he worked and then walked less than half a mile to the nearest Subway for some food. My aunt was kind enough to pick me up from there – while walking was really helpful, I know enough about my body and chronic back pain issues to know when to stop. Knowing your limits is always really important. The last thing I want to do is injure myself by pushing too far!
But really, the point of this long ramble is to say how grateful I am to skills I have learned in therapy and how proud of myself I am for trying something new. The walking was so, so helpful. I calmed down, got out all my excess tension in my body, and I got some exercise in! 3 benefits in one (4, if you count reaching my goal of getting a hug from my awesome padre).
So, here’s to trying something new with positive results!!!