Sometimes I wonder: Am I just scared of working or am I unable to work right now? I’ve been in the process of applying for a county job for at least a month now, taking various tests, of which yesterday’s was the most recent. I won’t lie. I am nervous when I think of having a job. I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a part time job, which is a perfectly viable option, except that I’m running out of money and a part time job won’t pay for all my bills, therapy, and food (all of which, in my opinion, are necessities for me right now). So, the reality becomes I need a full time job. But can I handle a full time job? My therapist told me she would not typically recommend someone in my position (coming out of the situation/condition I’ve been in) get a full time job. I have friends that know me well that don’t think I could handle a full time job. I, personally, don’t think I could handle a full time job.
So what’s my other option? My therapist mentioned SSI (Supplemental Security Income). I don’t know much about it – I need to do more research – and I don’t even know if I would qualify for it, but what I do know is that time is running out and it seems like it might be an option. So I’m going to do more research, see if I qualify, and go from there. I’m not looking for the “easy way out.” I am looking to see what my most viable option is and what is the healthiest route for me to take.
Gah, I’m so stressed out!