Scared of Work or Not Able to Work?

Sometimes I wonder: Am I just scared of working or am I unable to work right now? I’ve been in the process of applying for a county job for at least a month now, taking various tests, of which yesterday’s was the most recent.  I won’t lie.  I am nervous when I think of having a job. I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a part time job, which is a perfectly viable option, except that I’m running out of money and a part time job won’t pay for all my bills, therapy, and food (all of which, in my opinion, are necessities for me right now).  So, the reality becomes I need a full time job.  But can I handle a full time job? My therapist told me she would not typically recommend someone in my position (coming out of the situation/condition I’ve been in) get a full time job.  I have friends that know me well that don’t think I could handle a full time job.  I, personally, don’t think I could handle a full time job.

So what’s my other option?  My therapist mentioned SSI (Supplemental Security Income).  I don’t know much about it – I need to do more research – and I don’t even know if I would qualify for it, but what I do know is that time is running out and it seems like it might be an option.  So I’m going to do more research, see if I qualify, and go from there. I’m not looking for the “easy way out.” I am looking to see what my most viable option is and what is the healthiest route for me to take.

Gah, I’m so stressed out!


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