Why Am I So Depressed This Week?

PMS or Depression?

An important distinction and question.  About half a week ago I found myself almost bursting into tears at what seemed to be the most inconsequential things.  I had just finished up my period and was into the few days directly following it and my emotions felt like they were out of control.  Of course, during my period I also felt out of control.  I was not used to having such extreme emotional fluxes, even during that time of the month, so I was just so confused.  I was really snappy and angry at just about everything.  Then, a few days later I realized that this was my first cycle without my mood stabilizers.  I’m no expert, but I’m guessing that affected me somewhat.

Before I realized that my moods were probably more extreme due to my lack of a mood stabilizer, I was afraid that I was just falling back into depression.  Sometimes it’s hard to put two and two together, you know?  I was just thinking about my mood swings and my fatigue and exhaustion, and was ignoring the fact that I was on my period!  Oh jeez…  Well, I’m glad I finally figured that out.

It was also concerning me because, at the same time that I was experiencing the depressed mood and fatigue, I had just started taking Melatonin at night.  So then I was concerned that the Melatonin was tanking my mood, even though it’s pretty much a natural supplement.  I felt like I was going “crazy,” for lack of a better word.  hahahaha Once I realized that there were multiple factors going on, I decided to continue taking the Melatonin for at least a week longer to determine what effect it is having on me.

After a couple days passed, my mood started to settle down.  Although, to be honest, I felt like bursting into tears last night and a few minutes ago and I have no idea why.  It’s probably not still because of my cycle… so what?  Well, maybe it is just my body adjusting to being off of all these psychiatric medications… or maybe I am a touch depressed.  I don’t know.  The most important thing is that I continue having a positive attitude about everything.  I am not going to fall into the trap of thinking myself into feeling depressed, because I have learned from experience that that is possible.  I know I do not have full control over my mood. My depression is a chemical imbalance in my brain – there’s only so much I can do about that.  But I will continue to try and have the best attitude about it that I can.

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